Just another why :)

Fave Tree :)

I fell in love at the first time I saw that picture. Apart from psychological matters, I like that picture than the others due to some reasons.

  • The color: soft pink and purple, that is the perfect combination to me. While pink reflects some lovely and charms, purple make it stronger by performing darker tone.
  • The vertical strips: As the horizontal strips present steady movement, the vertical present radical movement from bottom to up or I see it as a good relationship between human and God.
  • The triangle leaves: In spite of having actual illustration of leaves, I prefer this simple one because I keep making everything simpler than the actual one. I don’t like explaining something complicated even though it is the reality. As long as you got my point, it is fine, and if you want to have more explanation about that, you can have a deeper conversation with me later. For me, explaining headline or general trend brings so much joy than explaining from the beginning story, detailed and forgotten by the listener (eww).
  • Tough and dark trunk and branches: It obviously means something to me. The darker the color, the stronger the meaning. I prefer skipping the roots and having bigger trunk as it grow higher.
  • The dots fruits: I have no idea what kind of fruits are they (haha), but everything round seems sweeter than oval :p

By way of a conclusion, that picture is nice, bright and simple 🙂

Good night everybody 🙂

The whole trees

Should we sell our faith for our dreams?

Bunch of essay tasks that should I fill to complete my scholarship application made me think carefully towards my dream in the future. Most of them ask me to write the reason why should I back to my country or what will I do after I graduated from my PhD. Well, I have no difficulties to make it up, and then I end up buying a motivational book to achieve our scholarships including how to make convincing essays from the successful ex-awardees.

I got a lot of examples, but then it suggested me to be the one that I don’t want to be or write that I don’t want to write. For example, it suggested me to write a ‘Professor’ to be my dream because the Host University really want that answer or I should answer NO questions that related to taking advantage another scholarship even though I am looking for or applying another scholarships. In my opinion, those are stupid questions that must be answered by stupid answers. Well, everyone knows that they shouldn’t put eggs in only one basket; of course they are trying to apply another scholarship. In addition, why should I become a Professor someday? I have no reason right now. That is not my dream and I am not going to write it in all of my essays or my interview answers. Why should I lie to myself then just for financial supports?

Last night I watched one Grey’s Anatomy episode (again), there is a patient that belongs to Jehovah’s Witnesses. Suddenly, the doctor (Yang) stopped blood transfusion into him and warned others not to give him any kind of bloods. Admittedly, she got protest from other nurses and doctors because without blood support he is going to die. Saving lives is their motto. She didn’t explain to other paramedics but then I pushed the ‘Pause’ button and start googling what is the Jehovah’s Witnesses.

According to my reliable sources in internet, Jehovah’s Witnesses reject any kind of military services and blood transfusion whatever the condition. They believe that live only granted by God, if God still gave him a live then he wouldn’t die with or without blood transfusion. Without judging their reasons which are make sense to me, I just remind what the Rasulullah SAW and his fellows did in the past, he wouldn’t surrender to say that the only God is Allah even though his enemies tortured them. Well, maybe it doesn’t happen anymore in this era, it could be easier or even harder condition that we shouldn’t die to sell our faith. It is easier because we shouldn’t suffer for physical torturing but it is harder because it is less easy to distinguish or judge. Well, for me personally, the hardest decision is when we have a pleasant or enjoyable situation.

May be some of you think that, ‘Oh come on, it is just blood money, it doesn’t change your whole life, you can still have those money and live your life after you receive that money’. Some others named it ‘White Lie’, but unfortunately they forgot to erase the ‘Lie’ word after ‘White’. Yes it is true, I will abroad and graduate my PhD after I said that I want to become a Professor and back to my country because of my previous make-up reasons and data in my essays. Yes it is true and then I have no differences with the corruptors who steal money from citizens’ tax just for themselves and said that it is for the country needs.

I just want to be a mom and a teacher who spend my time only for my children and students. Hmm, it sounds selfish but being a Professor only steal my whole time and my focus to teach and educate them. Will I get that scholarship if I just write those two reasons in my essay? Let us see then. I am sure that God wrote a perfect plan for me and my family in the future and all I have to do is just do my best and pray 🙂

Dad, I am more like you now 🙂

Regret is no longer a vocabulary in English..

Still, I could not cry to regret my previous stupid action even though I have forced to whine and analyze the impacts.

Okay, there is no tear drops in my eyes. I think regret is not the best exit way. Let’s think another exit way.

Bye bye regret..

I think you are no longer in my personal English Dictionary 😀

Glad you came..

The first time I heard this song was because my husband suggested me to hear this song. Sang by his favorite covering band, Boyce Avenue, but this song originally sang by The Wanted. Glad you came.

Considering only by the grammar, I thought that the ‘you’ in this song had just left the ‘I’. But, if you look thoroughly the song lyrics as a whole, the ‘you’ still beside the ‘I’. Grammar is not everything, it just helps you to understand more the time and the stress of the focus.

Let’s examine if you don’t want to analyze 😉

Glad you came

The sun goes down
The stars come out
and all that counts
is here and now
my universe will never be the same
I’m glad you came

The Simple Present Tense shows the routines whereas I’m pretty sure that they are not literally sun and stars’ orbital movement. The first two lines just express the ordinary ups and downs of life that looks so ordinary until you come.

Don’t you see the ‘came’ word? That word trapped me because it is Past Tense verb, hence I wondered is ‘you’ still beside the ‘I’ until present?

Well, I have analyzed it too deeply, I premised that ‘you’ already left ‘I’ because it is written in Past Tense not in a Present Perfect Tense.

Then suddenly I remembered what my teacher said to me that song lyrics could ignore the grammatical pattern in order to get the right rhymes. It could be wrong. But when I sang ‘I’m glad you’ve come’ instead ‘I’m glad you came’, it sounds no difference at all in articulation or rhymes.

Then, why did the song author insist using ‘came’ instead of ‘have come’?

Wise man said, please don’t stay too long in the same point when you find a riddle. Let’s continue..

You cast a spell on me
You hit me like the sky fell on me
and I decided you look well on me
So let’s go somewhere no one else can see
you and me

Look at the first two verbs: cast, hit, decided. All in the past form, but it could be tricky because they are (cast and hit) the most loyal irregular verb community, they have exactly the same spelling and pronunciation in Verb 1 and 2, so? is that Simple Present Tense or Past Tense? I wish that the subject are not ‘you’, I would be happily ever after if the subject are ‘He or She or even it’.

How about ‘let’s go’? well, as far as I know, every ‘let’s’ is always followed by Verb 1, it is not helping at all. Still stick to the question

‘is ‘you’ still beside ‘I’ until today?’

no answer so far.

Turn the lights out now
Now I’ll take you by the hand
hand you another drink
drink if you can
can you spend a little time
away from us to stay
Stay with me I can make
Make you glad you came

Voilaa, everything has never been any clearer till the ‘now’ showed up! And suddenly one question is answered and blew up. Yes! The ‘you’ still beside the ‘I’ today and by tomorrow 🙂

Only one question left, why did the author make it Past Tense ‘came’ not Present Perfect Tense?

Because ‘you’ only came once in the past, ‘you’ never left the ‘I’ since the first time ‘you’ came, then it doesn’t need repetitive sign like ‘have come’ to illustrate it. It’s really damn romantic than using ‘have come’, isn’t it? 🙂

Goodbye and Welcome..

I suddenly remember about ‘Welcome’ note in our mats =))

No, it is nothing about welcoming mats or some stuffs like that 😀 this is about our two different native English teachers. I definitely love both of them even though they are totally different to each other.

The first one, she is really pretty and well behave, everybody in my class admires her intelligence and her way to educate us, just treat us like adults who knows which one to do and which one to avoid. She gave us a broad knowledge that related to cultural understanding and many things we should know about this world. In a short way, she is totally inspiring down-to-earth woman 🙂 But, she had to go and left us to a better place 🙂

She has been replaced by a new tutor. I can say that she is very direct and outspoken person, which is really suit with my character. Lots of my classmates feel intimidated by her, but I really enjoy it 🙂 she sticks to the plan and pushes us to be a hard worker to achieve the score. She even gave us sooo many home works to read, sing and watch English subtitle movies. I strongly love it. It is not that I really like to be pushed but it is the only way for me to boost my energy.

Don’t you think that these two teachers are completing each other? The one that inspires you, gave a good teacher model and the other one is incredibly strong to kick you out when you digressed from your goal 🙂 I am really happy to have them both in my story line of life 🙂

My Future Career will be a …

Yesterday I got a IELTS speaking question about what I want to be in my future career. Besides being a mom, I really want to be a skilled gardener someday, funny isn’t it?

Yeah because I found that people in this earth are no longer concern about the place where we have lived until today and may be in the future for our descendants later. Most of them only concern about technology, society or even money, may be they already forget that they can’t do all of that if this earth is dying.

That’s why I want to be a gardener who happily plants ever after with my skilled technique to keep them alive and fertilize. I always feel happy when I get new plants in my small garden. Actually, I was inspired by my mother in law, she is a truly farmer. She has a vast farming land in her town, near her house in Lamongan. My last holiday was filled with playing in her farm, ploughs the soil, seeding and gives them fertilizer. Nothing can make me happy than that moments. I even said to my husband that I want to be a farmer someday! 😀

The most interesting part is when you see a new little bud that is ready to grow up, blowing good wishes to them to survive whatever they will face, watering them and pruning the rotten leaves or branches and they bloom beautifully. They are just live in peace and give big and unseen contribution to another life (human/animal) by its fruits and oxygen they release.

I don’t know where I got this gene, may be one of my ancestors was a farmer, because it just like teaching, comes from my heart without thinking the benefits or drawbacks I will receive later. I never think how will my computer science knowledge be used in farming or how good the profits I will get.

Now, I am adding to have a vast garden besides having a library someday 🙂

A PhD Interview: Sharing the Experience

To begin with, this post will be opened by “Happy Ied Mubarak, everyone!” 🙂

Few days before Idul Fitri, I had an online interview with a professor in one of UK universities. Before facing the interview, I googled many things that I should prepare for. But, there are only few information about PhD interview in the internet, most of them are a-z job interview preparation. So, I think I’m gonna write a post about my first experience for having a PhD interview with my candidate supervisor, maybe this post can give an inspiration to you someday 🙂

When they ask you to have a skype conversation, it means that you have to install and get used to it quickly. One of the reliable resources to online installation of Skype, please visit and make a skype account for yourself. Double check the headset, including the microphone because you will gonna use it. For Indonesia and other low-quality-internet countries, you have to provide a good quality internet signal to have a smooth video conference.

Enough with technical preparation, here the questions I got from my supervisor, well it can be really difference with your subject but the main idea seems not really that far from these.

What country I am living in right now?

Of course I answer this with “Indonesia”, a country in South-East Asia.

Which part of Indonesia?

Java, particularly in the capital city of East java Province, Surabaya.

How good are you in Maths?

I answer this question implicitly, I answer this with subjects that I have learned in my undergraduate and graduate degree. Besides that, I also answer this with the subjects related with Maths that I have taught for 4 years in my University. For example, I answer this with “I had learned Introduction of Calculus (Kalkulus 1) and Advance of Calculus (Kalkulus 2), Statistics, Linear Algebra and Soft Computing when I was in College. I also teach Introduction of Calculus and Statistics in my job as a lecturer in my University”

Do you like Maths?

Well, I guess I had not enough to answer his question so that he asked me a similar question about Maths. Another possibility is, maybe he just want to know whether I really like Maths or just an obligation to learn and teach them. I answer this with “Ya, I like Maths and Statistics very much”.

Have u seen my homepage?

“Yes I have, I think you have a dynamical systems as your preferable research/topic”. Just mention what just I read from his homepage to prove that I really have seen his homepage 😀

So, can you make a computer program with Java?

I wrote Java as my ability to code instead of writing a php or jsp in mu Curriculum Vitae, because I only focus on Java core programming with Mathematical function not design the interface. I prefer coding a mathematical core and logic to make a beautiful and interactive interface 😀 “Ya, Java and Matlab”

Why do you want to continue a PhD study?

Really you can find the perfect answer to this question. But I think the best one is the honest answer that make you want to have a further education. Just answer it with your heart and because my heart is only one, I will not share my answer to this post :p

Is Indonesia not an English speaking country?

This is related to my previous answer.

Do you mind if I ask you to publish some papers as a PhD requirement?

Maybe he thought that Indonesia higher education don’t require a publication to graduate. So, I answered this question with “I really don’t mind, I’d like to publish my research as you can see in my timeline proposal”

How good are you in English?

I started answering this question with laugh, I said that it depends on what skill 😀 I told him that my ability in English is varied, really good at Listening, good enough at Reading, poor at Speaking and really poor at Writing. Then he laughed at my IELTS score T.T He just wondered how come, but finally he understood my condition 🙂

When will you re-take the IELTS?

I will take my second test at 12th of October. He wished me a good luck, then.

Why do you choose this University?

To answer this question, it is better to you if you already googled your preference department/school then you have compared them by their research centres and the eligibility of professors. I think they don’t expect you to be brown-nosing person, but logically explaining why you chose this University among the others.

Give comments to your proposal.

He will give you comments about the strength of your proposal and he suggests you several possibilities to convey the problem.

Are there any questions from me to him?

Once, I read and heard that you should take a benefit from this questions and don’t miss it, they will measure your curiosity by this questions. How far you want to know them and please do not ask the questions that have been explained in their website.

How will you fund your PhD?

You can list your options here, for me I gave him my plan to pursue a scholarship provided by my country.

In brief, there are three main points: my background ability (Maths and English), my motivation, and how far I am to plan my PhD study. This is only one experience, you definitely can obtain the others by asking your colleagues and friends who have performed online interviews in advance.

Well, good luck for your upcoming PhD interview 🙂