Pada awalnya, saya tidak memahami betapa pentingnya sebuah proses. Sampai pada suatu titik, saya trace back tahapan yang telah saya lalui dan saya tidak menemukan sebuah pembelajaran.

Mengapa? karena saya fokus pada durasi dan hasil SAJA. Saya melalui proses, IYA, saya mendapatkan hasil, IYA. Namun, proses yang berulang-ulang, proses kegagalan, proses untuk bangkit dari kegagalan, tidak pernah saya lalui. I was so proud of myself because I never failed.

Sepertinya, saya terlalu membanggakan HASIL dan DURASI sehingga lupa akan proses untuk mendapatkannya yang mungkin hanya satu kali shot. Lalu kenapa harus berproses berulang kali shot, kalau satu kali shot saja hasilnya sudah acceptable?

The whole processes will get you a master. You will be able to say “it is better to be done this way..” or “by doing with this way, you will get extra …”.. you will be able to advise yourself and a novice because you have both knowledge and experience.

I got the best mark on Statistics! both on my bachelor degree and on my supplemental course in this PhD. People will expect me confident with my statistical reasoning. But, that is not happening right now. I am dealing with statistical things but I don’t know what and how to solve this problem.

From this point, I feel that I lacked experience; I lacked tough statistical problems.

Now, I have to deal with calculus, derive a statistical formula from its roots. Proving that both are working and match or at least have less deviation between both sides. Persistence is not enough. You will have to enrich yourself with knowledge or tips from the master of Statistics. This gives me pain and tears on this Bank Holiday!

Glad that yesterday, I watched a movie series with my brother: Scorpion.

Elia said to Walter when his smart building is knocked down by a worm,

Walter, people think I’m some kind of brilliant visionary. But, the reason I’m successful is because, on the heels of defeat. Failure is part of process. You don’t know where you’re vulnerable until you fail.

——-

Never ever get so proud of your knowledge, until you can’t count how many times you’ve been defeated.

Dear Conditional probability on Epidemiology domain (i.e. Relative risks, Odds Ratios, Prevalence/Incidence), you knocked me down right now..
Congratulations!

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