Bunch of essay tasks that should I fill to complete my scholarship application made me think carefully towards my dream in the future. Most of them ask me to write the reason why should I back to my country or what will I do after I graduated from my PhD. Well, I have no difficulties to make it up, and then I end up buying a motivational book to achieve our scholarships including how to make convincing essays from the successful ex-awardees.
I got a lot of examples, but then it suggested me to be the one that I don’t want to be or write that I don’t want to write. For example, it suggested me to write a ‘Professor’ to be my dream because the Host University really want that answer or I should answer NO questions that related to taking advantage another scholarship even though I am looking for or applying another scholarships. In my opinion, those are stupid questions that must be answered by stupid answers. Well, everyone knows that they shouldn’t put eggs in only one basket; of course they are trying to apply another scholarship. In addition, why should I become a Professor someday? I have no reason right now. That is not my dream and I am not going to write it in all of my essays or my interview answers. Why should I lie to myself then just for financial supports?
Last night I watched one Grey’s Anatomy episode (again), there is a patient that belongs to Jehovah’s Witnesses. Suddenly, the doctor (Yang) stopped blood transfusion into him and warned others not to give him any kind of bloods. Admittedly, she got protest from other nurses and doctors because without blood support he is going to die. Saving lives is their motto. She didn’t explain to other paramedics but then I pushed the ‘Pause’ button and start googling what is the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
According to my reliable sources in internet, Jehovah’s Witnesses reject any kind of military services and blood transfusion whatever the condition. They believe that live only granted by God, if God still gave him a live then he wouldn’t die with or without blood transfusion. Without judging their reasons which are make sense to me, I just remind what the Rasulullah SAW and his fellows did in the past, he wouldn’t surrender to say that the only God is Allah even though his enemies tortured them. Well, maybe it doesn’t happen anymore in this era, it could be easier or even harder condition that we shouldn’t die to sell our faith. It is easier because we shouldn’t suffer for physical torturing but it is harder because it is less easy to distinguish or judge. Well, for me personally, the hardest decision is when we have a pleasant or enjoyable situation.
May be some of you think that, ‘Oh come on, it is just
blood money, it doesn’t change your whole life, you can still have those money and live your life after you receive that money’. Some others named it ‘White Lie’, but unfortunately they forgot to erase the ‘Lie’ word after ‘White’. Yes it is true, I will abroad and graduate my PhD after I said that I want to become a Professor and back to my country because of my previous make-up reasons and data in my essays. Yes it is true and then I have no differences with the corruptors who steal money from citizens’ tax just for themselves and said that it is for the country needs.
I just want to be a mom and a teacher who spend my time only for my children and students. Hmm, it sounds selfish but being a Professor only steal my whole time and my focus to teach and educate them. Will I get that scholarship if I just write those two reasons in my essay? Let us see then. I am sure that God wrote a perfect plan for me and my family in the future and all I have to do is just do my best and pray 🙂
Dad, I am more like you now 🙂