Ambivert

I just googled the meaning of ambivert. A label that I put on me for many years ago,

  1. I can perform tasks alone or in a group. I don’t have much preference either way.
  2. Social settings don’t make me uncomfortable, but I tire of being around people too much.
  3. Being the center of attention is fun for me, but I don’t like it to last.
  4. Some people think I’m quiet, while others think I’m highly social.
  5. I don’t always need to be moving, but too much downtime leaves me feeling bored.
  6. I can get lost in my own thoughts just as easily as I can lose myself in a conversation.
  7. Small talk doesn’t make me uncomfortable, but it does get boring.
  8. When it comes to trusting other people, sometimes I’m skeptical, and other times, I dive right in.
  9. If I spend too much time alone, I get bored, yet too much time around other people leaves me feeling drained.

My Cryptonite

is a nickname was given to me by my husband instead of honey, babe, dear, and any other romantic names. That is because he always thinks that he is a Superman (!). You know the Superman gets weaker when he gets closer to a stone from space, called Kryptonite.

But, it should be written using K instead of C. True. That’s because he feels that when I say or write something, mostly there are two kinds of message: an encrypted message, and a superficial one. People called it ambiguous; this is my defect. I took it as a defect because sometimes when people say something to me, I always think the same way, in fact, their meaning is probably only the superficial one. Thus, I need to tune this defect.

Back to the nickname, it is my honor to be called as his Cryptonite.

Yesterday, we had a video call, together with Rania. It was around 10pm in Indonesia why he suddenly asked for a video call? He explained that in recent days, Rania tapped everything that contains my photograph in his phone. Including my contact number that is saved with my photo. She even tried to make several calls. She said “mommy” and gave the phone to her grandfather.

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The thing that my best friend said to me is correct. The bonding between mother and daughter is true. She knew it that I am here missing her every second.

——

Yesterday was windy, today is cloudy and sprinkling.
Some people love it. Am I going to love it too?
However, there is no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing.

 

Sixth Sense

is the thing that I wish to have, but I don’t have it until now. I swear I don’t have it. Although, I believe that some other may have it, but, not me.

Reading people’s mind like in movies is ……. so cool, but, it is creepy. Some might be offended if you do it too much to them.

But, since I don’t have it, so, no one will be offended, right?

By the way, I am trying to understand why people get offended if I could read their mind. That’s because their inner thought is their privacy. Only if they say to the people, then, it is no longer private.

——

My brother said that this song is really me..

The Calling – Believing

——

“Did you forget to omit ‘r’ in the word ‘brother’?”

“No, I did it on purpose ☺️“

 

3 days in Leitrim (not Longford) :p

These three days, I spent my weekend in co. Leitrim. I stayed two nights in Lily and James house in Gortletteragh.

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Lily and James’ house


The question started from how did I meet Lily (and James) Doyle?

On Facebook. We joined the same facebook group: Backpacker International, that is because we have the same hobby, traveling to places outside of Indonesia. From that group, we finally know each other that we stay in Ireland but in different county.

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A perfect place to escape from crowd

The first time we met was when Ashri and I visit Sligo. Lily and James drove from Leitrim to Sligo. We strolled together to Knocknarea hill and Strandhill beach. We got to know each other by traveling together for the first time. Secondly, Lily and James visited Bray to watch the Bray Air Display. Ashri and I took Dart from our place to Bray, then, we walked to Greystone. This is the third time we met. I came to their house and stayed for two nights.

On the first day, they showed me Lough Rynn Castle and the stunning view behind the castle. There is a herb garden nearby and James was so excited to pickle some leaves and smell the herbs. Then we bought Indian halal dinner and went home.

But, the best thing is…… James’ steel-stringed light-brown Yamaha acoustic guitar! I could stay in the house only for playing guitar all day :)) We talked much about chords, (old but gold) songs until bedtime. The new thing is, instead of plucking or strumming the strings, James does unique way to play. I learned several new chords and techniques to play acoustic guitar from him. He has two guitars: acoustic and electric; I even do not have one! I envy him so much!

The next day, we stopover to James’ father (Colm) house. There is where James’ cows are. He is a livestock farmer. I watched them eating and pet the ringleader. I thought cow’s skin is furless, but, they have soft fur. Well, I think it depends on the species; the one that I pet is Aberdeen Angus. After spending three days with them, now, I could tell which one is the milky cows and which one is the meat cows (hahaha!). Thereafter, we went to Enniskillen, Northern Ireland to have a lunch in a buffet and we visited the Marble Arch Caves. Then, we stopover at a mini waterfall and went home.

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James’ cows

Last day, we visited Colm house again. We talked with Dympna (Colm’s sister), and her husband. Dympna is a very nice lady, she even kissed my cheeks when I was saying goodbye to her :)) She wished for the best results for my viva, and she hoped that I will meet my daughter and my husband soon. This is our first (and maybe last) meet, but, they treat me like a part of their family. Isn’t that sweet?

I experienced many things from this journey. Lily is so tough person, she went through the thing that I never imagine as a mother. I couldn’t tell here, but, her love for Riley is priceless. My eyes are now teary while writing this sentence. Even though, I know that she accepted all those things, I resist myself to ask many questions to her about Riley. I believe that he is there, watching you two from heaven 🙂

James is an old-fashioned person. I couldn’t believe that a western person respect more on Sapindus mukorossi (i.e. Indian washnut) or Javanese people used to call it ‘klethek’, to wash his clothes instead of detergent. He prefers to drink spring water from well instead of buying bottles of still water. He prefers to light the fire from woods, turfs, coals instead of using storage heating. I am sure that he will live very well and prosper in my grandmother’s era. He is a believer of life sustainability.

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Spring water well

Anyway, this is what I expected before I come to co. Leitrim. I really want to pet cows, light up a fireplace, experience new things that I never knew before while living in Dublin these three years. Now, I can see different lifestyles that people chose for their livings.

I used to hate traveling or leaving my comfort zone. But, then, I left my home country to a country which I never dream of before.
I used to feel insecure about having trips without my family. But, then, I traveled solo and found a new family who I never met before.
I used to think that my way is better than anyone. But, then, new people taught me unique ways to solve (basic) living problems.

Apparently, these years I lived in a (transparent) shell.

 

There are no foreign lands. It is the traveler only who is foreign.
– Robert Louis Stevenson

Elsa?

Do you want to build a snowman?
Come on, let’s go and play!
I never see you anymore
Come out the door
It’s like you’ve gone away
We used to be best buddies
And now we’re not
I wish you would tell me why!
Do you want to build a snowman?
It doesn’t have to be a snowman
Do you want to build a snowman?
Or ride our bike around the halls?
I think some company is overdue
I’ve started talking to the pictures on the walls!
It gets a little lonely
All these empty rooms
Just watching the hours tick by
(tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock)
Elsa, please I know you’re in there
People are asking where you’ve been
They say, “don’t freak out” and I’m trying to
I’m right out here for you
Just let me in
We only have each other
It’s just you and me
What are we gonna do?
Do you want to build a snowman?
It does not have to be a snowman, Elsa..
Go away, Anna!
Okay, bye 😭
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James Bay and Taylor Swift

are both musicians which I really like. Both have similarities to me, they changed. James Bay had long humble hair, wear fedora hat, and seems confident without many attractions in his video clips. But now, he changed. Well, the soul is still the same, but I wonder which one the true James Bay as a person?

Same with Taylor Swift. Her music genre was Country music, she beats Pop songs. But now, she seems able to play any genre. Lately, I found that the true Taylor is the ones when she plays acoustic.

However, I am probably wrong. They don’t change, but, it is me who doesn’t know them entirely. Everyone has more than one sides, and I just discovered a new side of James Bay and Taylor Swift which I didn’t know before..

The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head saying
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high
There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
The struggles I’m facing
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No, I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on, ’cause
There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes you gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

The Climb – Miley Cyrus

—–

What is waiting for me on the other side?

Diploma? Nope.
Commencement? Nope.
My job? Nope.

It is my daughter, my husband, and my parents 🙂

I can’t wait to see them again…..